A proposal for a more efficient Transfer
The idea of Transfer, which so pleases the Israeli theo-fascists, is also mainly indicative of the naïve ignorance of Trump, the initiator of the plan
By B Michael • [Michael Brizon (4 October 1947–19 February 2025)]
Translated by Sol Salbe
President Trump, it turns out, loves a good Transfer. He wants to transfer 1.5 million Hispanics from the United States and 2.25 million Palestinians from the Gaza Strip. He also likes Rivieras. A truly positive man.
It is likely that none of the above will happen. That’s how it is with Trump: his vocal cords work at absolutely the right level decibels. But those cords in charge of delivering the projects are quite threadbare. Based on past experience, his list of promises to voters reach high onto the heavens. His list of items actually carried out touches the ground.
The idea of Transfer, which so pleases the Israeli theo-fascists, is also mainly indicative of the naïve ignorance of the initiator of the plan when it comes to Israel. After all, even if he succeeds in forcing the Palestinians to voluntarily withdraw from their land, does he really believe that the Gaza Strip will be handed over to him? Not on your life. Minister Orit Strook will get it, Ben-Gvir will get it, Kahane will get it. And immediately after they get it, out will pop the settlements and the settlers and their children. And these, as usual, will forge out east and west, and they will reach the Egyptian border. Border incidents will soon develop there, and there will be casualties. Children will die too. This is what happens when children get dragged to the front.
The Smotchgvirs, in their usual whinny fashion, will demand immediate strikes at the antisemitic enemy and threaten to quit the coalition. Bibi will obey and, with the encouragement of the Orange Messiah from the White House, will “open the gates of hell” (which is the obedient air force).
And so, again and again and again, until the Ben-Strookniks reach the “Promised Land Borders ,” detailed in the myth of their patriarch Abraham and the covenant between the sacrificed animals, which means all the way to the edges of Alexandria.
And in order to prevent all this evil vision, here is a suggestion for a much more efficient transfer: Could His Excellency, the President of the United States please gather all the settlers from the West Bank and East Jerusalem, and with them all their politicians, and transfer them to the United States. There they should be settled in the heart of the evangelical “Bible Belt,” perhaps Arizona, for example, or any of its neighbours. And everyone will benefit:
Israel will lose a wild troublesome population that is currently leading it to destruction. The Palestinians will remain on their land and will form the backbone of a diligent construction workforce in the reconstruction projects promised by Trump (a promise that will not be kept, of course). The entire Middle East will gain a vital tranquillity. Israel will return to its healthy proportions, and will be able to concentrate on auto-normalisation efforts.
Bibi will emigrate to his true homeland and spend the rest of his years there with Sara and the Kid, with all expenses paid by some generous billionaire. The judicial coup will die and raise a stench. Israel will get to taste a sweet foretaste of what separation of religion and state feels like. In short, as they say in Yiddish, “a-Mechayeh” [in Leo Rosten’s words: a “resurrection” or a feeling of delight, pleasure, or relief. A slight breath of fresh air.] Finally, it will be allowed to take a deep breath, look around and not be ashamed.
It is important to reiterate the importance of absorbing settlers in evangelical regions. The common messianic identity will undoubtedly ease and greatly overcome the difficulties of integration. And who knows, perhaps out of a shared racist identity, the new community will also give rise to a sister organisation to the American Ku Klux Klan called Jew Klux Klan. Almost needless to say, the hundreds of thousands of imported messianic adherents will without exception join the Republican Party, and will undoubtedly glorify Trump’s base.
Most importantly, in the areas of the neo-settler settlements, a few Native American, Hispanic, or Reform Jewish communities should be left or established, so that the new immigrants can persecute and abuse them as they please. As they are used to from home.
[Michael Brizon (aka B Michael) 4 October 1947–19 February 2025]
